Baby Hands

"The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing."

Zephaniah 3:17

"In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety." Psalm 4:8

Last night I woke to the cries of my baby. Soft, sad, cries. We've been trying out new foods lately and several have not agreed with her little body. Needless to say, I have mama worry over every cry she makes, not wanting it to mean she's aching. I went to get her and she grabbed tightly to me. With a diaper check and a quick re-swaddling I scooped her up and went to rock. I was willing to nurse her but she just wanted to be close. Her head was on my shoulder, my arms held her tightly. She rested her inner hand flat on my check, sucked her other thumb, and placed those fingers on my chin. My kiss was constantly on her forehead. I held her tightly. I gently rocked her and couldn't keep from crying. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, like the emotion of being a mama. Her sweet baby hands stayed on my face and I prayed and sang softly over her. I knew I loved her. And I knew she loved me. I would do anything for her. And she would let me. I would hold her like that for hours. And that is exactly where she wanted to be. I was overwhelmed with being a mama. In the best, most intimate, deepest way I can imagine.

Andrew & I were talking with his parents on Sunday and were talking about underground seminaries. Andrew mentioned a pastor who went to teach at one of these and how the people there were so hungry for the Word. They couldn't understand why anyone would teach for just an hour or so. They longed for me. So he taught them for five straight days, 8 hours a day. He finished the Old Testament and they asked, what about the New Testament? As we were talking I wondered out loud, what would it be like to long for Jesus and His Words like that?

As I rocked, cherished, held, and tried to memorize my moment last night with Anna I could hear Jesus speaking to me. Come sit with me. Crawl up into My lap. Place your head on My shoulder. Put your hands on My face and hold on. Close your eyes and rest. Let Me love you. Let Me sing over you. Let Me meet your every need. Let Me be all you ever want. I promise, I will. I am Faithful. I am Love. Long for Me. I will delight in you.

In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise

Give me Jesus.
Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.

When I am alone,
When I am alone,
When I am alone,
Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus.
Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.

When I come to die,
When I come to die,
When I come to die,
Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus.
Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus.
Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
You can have all this world,
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.

Ren makes me happy

I love Cyrenthia. She has so many incredible qualities about her. She is energetic, joyful, a learner, loves the Lord, plays with my kiddos, laughs loud, and smiles big. If you've ever been around her you know exactly what I mean. She is irresistibly lovable.

Another reason I love her is because she says some of the silliest things...

She was standing over me looking at a picture of hers on my computer...

She had titled this picture, "Drumlign".

This is in fact a picture of her with the cast of "Drumlign" which she got to see at the Walton Arts Center in March.

As she was looking she began laughing at herself and said, "Oops I spelled it with a "g". Yes, you did, I said. And laughed.

The next comment is what caused me to laugh harder and love her all the more.

"And I forgot the "b".

What?

"I forgot the "b". In drum"b"

I couldn't stop laughing as I proceeded to tell her, drum actually doesn't have a "b" in it. She laughed. I laughed. And she went on to explain she thought it was like tomb or comb. Good logic, I guess.

Just another reason she makes me happy.

Power and Light

"See, my servant will prosper, he will be highly exalted. Many were amazed when they saw him--beaten and bloodied, so disfigured on would scarcely know he was a person. And he will again startle many nations. Kings will stand speechless in his presence. For they will see what they had not previously been told about; they will understand what they had not heard about."

Isaiah 52:13-15

"Let the ruins of Jerusalem break into joyful song, for the Lord has comforted his people. He has redeemed Jerusalem. The Lord will demonstrate his holy power before the eyes of all the nations. The ends of the earth will see the salvation of our God."

Isaiah 52:9-10

He comes in Power.

"O storm-battered city, troubled and desolate! I will rebuild you on a foundation of sapphires and make the walls of your houses from precious jewels. I will make your towers of sparkling rubies and your gates and walls of shining gems. I will teach all your citizens, and their prosperity will be great."

Isaiah 54:11-13

"No longer will violence be heard in your land, nor ruin or destruction within your borders, but you will call your walls Salvation and your gates Praise. The sun will no more be your light by day, nor will the brightness of the moon shine on you, for the Lord will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your glory. Your sun will never set again, and your moon will wane no more; the Lord will be your everlasting light and your days of sorrow will end."

Isaiah 60:18-20

He is our Light.

Light from the Son

He took up my pain

Bore my suffering

Was pierced for my transgressions

Crushed for my iniquities

Punished to bring me peace

Wounded to bring me healing

"We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all." Isaiah 53:6

"By this time it was noon, and darkness fell across the whole land until three 0'clock. The light from the sun was gone. And suddenly, the thick veil hanging in the Temple was torn apart. Then Jesus shouted, "Father, I entrust my spirit into your hands!" And with those words he breathed his last." Luke 23:44-46

Spending today in remembrance, humility, and gratitude.

Feeling the weight of my sin.

Seeing the high payment that was made for me.

Waiting for the Light from the Son to return.

Looking forward to the healing and peace that comes with Sunday.

Listening Ears

These past few weeks we've been reading Bible stories to our kids surrounding the death & resurrection of Jesus. It has had many good, many silly, and many sweet moments. Tonight we read bits from Mark 14 & John 13-14 combining Jesus washing His disciples feet, the Last Supper, and the betrayal by Judas. As always, Madeline & Simeon love asking questions. So tonight, after finishing the page about Jesus washing the disciples stinky feet, I quickly jumped in to tell Madeline I had a question. Who washed the stinky feet? She was quick to respond, Jesus. Probing a little deeper and not expecting an answer I asked, what else does Jesus wash? But I was wrong. She answered. Quickly she said, our sins. In our weeks of repeating the same five stories they have been listening. They fidget, sing, push their little fingers into my pockets, and more. But they are listening. So thankful for their sweet listening ears tonight. And so thankful that He washes the dirt that stains my soul so that my heart can be healed.

9 months old

I have been terrible about chronicling Anna's little life month by month like I did with Madeline. I have managed to get a few pics of her on the 8th of each month--or at least by the 10th. Andrew & I were looking at her 9 month pictures & decided to compare her to Madeline & we soon found this...

Madeline Grace

Anna Elise

I took their 9 month pics in the same outfit! Clearly I like this one. Thanks to Anita for gifting it to Madeline several years ago. And, they are SO different. I think at this time Madeline was about 75% in her height and 5% in her weight. Anna is an even 25% in both. Madeline never had much baby chub...Anna clearly is doing well in that category. Madeline had at least 2 teeth and Anna just got her first. Madeline was crawling. Anna couldn't care less about mobility...including rolling over. She is content to just sit, watch, and be entertained. And shockingly I must say Madeline had more hair at this time. Which is crazy because she was a baldy like Anna. Anna is a sweet sweet baby girl. She eats well, hardly fusses, sleeps well, and loves her sister & brother. Madeline loves kissing her and talking to her like Mama does & Simeon can make her laugh by "roaring" at her. I love watching my kiddos cheery interactions. They definitely make me smile.

Satisfaction for the Soul

Sounds dreamy, huh? Sounds lovely. Sounds like everything I want. Where do I find this everything? I know where. I've met, experienced, enjoyed, and been lavished with it. Why then do I find myself wandering? Wandering in big things, little things, daily things. If only a had a little more money, time, energy, personality. If only. That is the road I hate. The one that sucks me in and leads me away from my Satisfaction, my Security, my Jesus, and toward lies, sin, my flesh, and the (in)securities of the world. And when I walk this road, I lose so much and gain so little. I sacrifice my intimacy with my God and it prevents me from receiving His abundant LOVE which He desires to lavish on me. And I complain. Complain because I am weary. Because I am longing, Because I am not finding the satisfaction for my soul. I am weary because I don't turn to my Savior.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11:28

Been trying to wrap my heart around this great quote from my BSF teacher a few weeks ago,

"When you are looking for satisfaction outside of Christ you have nothing to look forward to except weariness, anxiety, more stress, and endless, unrewarded striving."

Endless, unrewarded striving. How undreamy. Unlovely. Unlike anything I want.

"Show me the wonders of your great love" Psalm 17:7

Where do I find my satisfaction? I find it exactly where I seek it. When I seek it from the world, I find all the world has to offer me-disappointment, failure, endless, unrewarded striving. When I seek the only true God, creator and sustainer, I find my satisfaction in the never-ending wonders of His great love. So dreamy. So lovely. So everything I want. Only in Christ. Everything in Christ.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,

look full in His wonderful face,

and the things of earth will grow strangely dim,

in the light of His glory and grace.

a few pics

For those of you who like a little looksie in on the fam, here are some photos we had done in November. A little late, but hey, what can I say?

this is my favorite...so perfect

my little surprise sweetheart

matchy matchy

just want to kiss those cheeks

he makes me so happy

funny boy

that face melts my heart!

future Razorback

gorgeous and so grown up!

beautiful baby girl

my kiddos sure do love Cyrenthia...she is a great big sis

love love love my family

encouragement

Sat with a sweet friend last night and talked life. I'm so thankful God has given us community to teach, challenge, encourage, grow, and live alongside of. We drank yummy berry drinks at Mama Carmen's Espresso Cafe and lost track of time. Encouraged to seek more of Jesus in Scripture, through prayer, confession, and challenged to understand what it looks like to fully receive His unconditional love & forgiveness, and find my security & satisfaction in Him alone. Whew. Will be thinking on these things for a while I'm sure.

"Is anyone thirsty? Come and drink--even if you have no money! Come, take your choice of wine or milk--it's all free! Why spend your money on food that does not give you strength? Why pay for food that does you no good? Listen, and I will tell you where to get food that is good for the soul! Come to me with your ears wide open. Listen, for the life of your soul is at stake. I am ready to make an everlasting covenant with you. I will give you all the mercies and unfailing love that I promised to David. " Isaiah 55:1-3

Mount Magazine

Andrew & I had a great time at Mount Magazine. The weather could not have been more perfect-sunny and high 70's. We loved it...we packed our own breakfast & lunch which was fab because we got to eat our lunch on our balcony which overlooked a huge bluff & while we ate we watched people hang gliding! We hiked about 7 miles, ate steaks for dinner, talked, and relaxed. It was such a blessing. I highly recommend it. Time away with your hubby that is. And Mount Magazine for that matter. Big thanks to our mama's for caring for our kiddos.

after 7 miles of hiking & overlooking a big bluff

pretty things

the most random night club with security guards in the middle of cute, old, Paris, AR

more pretty things...we had just watched Walk the Line so I kept thinking of Johnny Cash on our drive. plus, this tree had these really cool looking wrinkly branches.

friday happies

Me. Andrew. Mount Magazine. Yea!

Hope to see this...

But not so much this...

But mostly just want to see this...