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Monday, March 31, 2014

sometimes I eat ice cream for dinner...

and I think that's an okay thing to do.

Let me tell you why.

Season.

This word that floats in and out of our mouths all the time.  We all know what it means.  And yet it is this weird thing to me.  It is supposed to mean "a short period of time that will end soon so power on sista" but really life is just one short time that runs into the next short time that runs in to the next short time and so on and so on.

Does that mean I am always needing to power through?

I hope not.  I don't want to just make it through a season, tough it out, look for the light at the end of the season, hold on tightly because it goes by so fast, or any of those other phrases I've been told and told to others as an attempt at encouragement.

I think this phrase, just a season, can become an excuse and escape.  Factually, it's probably true.  Whatever life you are in right now is just a season.  But the implications that come with saying that need to be fought out of our minds.  Saying it isn't usually encouraging.  It's more like a conversation stopper.  It is like saying just sit and deal the best you can until it blows by.  That's sounds rough so good luck friend and all I can offer you is this, "it's just a season."

Who walks away from that feeling lifted up?

Dwelling on things just being a season makes me think drowning and feeling negative is the right thing to feel because, after all, it is my season.  Not reading the Word, losing patience with my kids, making no time for date night...it's just a season.  This is such a huge misguided statement!  I need someone who will look me in the eye and tell me that my frustration is actually sin.  My impatience with my kids isn't excusable because it's a tough season.  My lack of getting in the Word isn't justified because I'm tired.  I need to be pointed to Jesus.  Pushed to Him and away from me.

We do live in seasons.  Seasons of rest, frustration, peace, child-bearing, no sleep, no exercise, child-raising, loving our spouses...and on and on.  Let me make this suggestion:  Live in your life.  Not outside of it, not in working toward getting to greener grasses, not in longing for something different.  I have a friend who says the grass is only greener where it is watered.

So water your own grass.

Long for more of Jesus in your day, not more of Him once you get through {fill in the blank}.  Pursue patience now.  Get in the Word now.  Fight for your marriage now.  This season will only be followed by another.  And every one you walk through without Jesus will leave you weaker for the next.  Find what works best for you but also push yourself.  If you know you process and grow through writing out your thoughts then make some time.  If you know God's Word is never crossing your mind as you parent then get it posted on your mirrors, fridge, computer screen, iphone.  If quality time with a couple of girlfriends pushes you to more prayer or encourages your week then seek it out.  You can do this.  It's not a season.  It's your life, your walk with Jesus, your example to your children.  Take deep breaths.  Don't let your season drown you.  God is so much bigger.  He has so much more.  His promises are for right now.  Hold dearly to Jesus.  And remember,

It's not about me.

He is so much more.

A few months after we came home with Paulina I was dragging hard.  I was tired, eating badly, not exercising, never getting in time with Jesus, and I was feeling low.  I knew something had to change.  For me it was getting up early, plugging my head phones in to some All Sons & Daughters, and hitting the sidewalks for some much needed exercise.  Now it is cutting out TV shows and using my kids rest time to eat something healthy and read or journal and meeting weekly with some seriously great women who lift me up.

Back to my first statement.  Sometimes I eat ice cream for dinner.  Yes, I do.  And yes, it is usually at the end of a a full and exhausting day.  I'm okay with this because neither the day nor the bowl of ice cream can defeat or sink me.  I can do that all by myself.  Give me a day where I never seek Jesus and I'm out.  So if my life calls for ice cream I will eat it.  If it calls for tears then I will cry.  Laughter?  Accountability?  Prayer?  These are the things I will do as I live my life day in and day out.

Watering my own grass and finding less of me, more of Jesus.

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