radiant with joy

Well, I've updated a bit around here.  New pictures, new colors, new Scripture.  For almost a year now I've been working through this verse above and several others from Psalm 34.  If you haven't lately, you should read it.  My goodness I have learned a lot.  In the midst of a lot of transition these last months I've seen so clearly that God had been prepping me for them.  After Anna and before Paulina God was working in the deep parts of my character.  Places I didn't realize I needed refining, especially for now.  He has shown me my selfishness, my desire for approval of others, my need for acceptance or status outside of Him, my weaknesses and idols.  And He has broken me.  Mostly gently, although He is tough where my sin is the most stubborn and blind.  I read this verse and say it over and over in my head and outloud.

"Those who look to Him for help will be radiant with joy, no shadow of shame will darken their faces." Psalm 34:8

look to Him
help
radiant with joy
no shadow of shame

Have you found such free-ness as this?  No shadow of shame.

Anna has this cut in the crevice of the underside of her pinky toe.  Seriously.  It will not heal.  It keeps getting ripped back open, bleeding, and bothering her.  We put medicine on it, multiple bandaids, and cover it with her sock.  Yet still, it is taking forever.  If she even slightly hits it on the right spot we have to start over again.

Her toe is like my shame.  Shame is brutal and secretive.  It attacks all parts of heart, soul, and mind.  It shapes thoughts, character, emotions, responses, everything.  It cuts deep and takes work to find restoration from.

I long for this restoration.  And have to fight for it.  Putting into light the lies that keep me in the darkness.  Looking to Him who has overcome the darkness.  And ultimately, radiating Him, not me.

When I turn my eyes away from Him, the destructions are instant.  Self. World. Fear. Shame. Comparison. Jealousy.  But when I look to Him?  Radiant with joy.  Radiant because I know the source of joy.  Radiant because I am consumed in heart, mind, and soul with the One who has set me free.

The destructive things are still out there, nearby in fact.  But I will say it again, those who look to Him for help...

And another,

"Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty."  Psalm 91:1

No shadow of shame.  Instead, I get to dwell with Him.  He must become greater, I must become less.