Happy Birthday Ashley! (and a story)

A few years ago, before we had kids, I applied to several graduate schools.  Then, Ashley and I packed up and headed for six months in Africa.  The plan was to wait, hear back from schools, decide where we would go, and then return from Africa and jump into grad school.  As we waited on acceptances and denials, we talked about what was next, and Ashley had some hopes that the Lord would put us back in Arkansas. 

One March night in Kenya, though, I got an email from the University of Arkansas saying “Thanks, but no thanks.” We lay underneath our mosquito nets, talking through the disappointment, and try as I might, I couldn’t deny the pain of rejection.  “You’re not good enough” never sounds good to a guy.

So where did that leave Ashley? Her heart had been leaning more towards returning to Arkansas, so it would be another kind of disappointment for her.  The disappointment of leaving home, perhaps permanently.

I finished a good portion of my thoughts first (being the kind and selfless husband I am) and then turned to her.  “What are you thinking about all this?”

Her response was beautiful.  “I want to be where you are.”  She wanted to be with me knowing she would have to go to a brand new place where she knew no one and where she would have to find a job to provide for us while I was in school.  If you’ve ever wondered what wedding vows look like in real life, it’s moments like that.

She talked about being excited to move to Boston (the most likely option at that point) and how in 20 years, we would look back and see how a move to Boston fit into the Lord’s plan.  We're way ahead of schedule on that one.  It’s been 7 years, and we regularly talk about God blessed that move in so many ways.  In that Kenya moment, though, Ashley’s quiet confidence helped me (made me) believe in my heart what I’d said all along, that the Lord was in control. 

I’ve known Ashley for over ½ her life now, and I’ve got many more moments like this.  Wedding vows played out in real time. 

I’m sure lots of you could point to a moment like that as well--a moment when Ashley gracefully redirected.  We all need people like that in our lives.  I get to be married to one and our kids get to have one as their mom.  What an incredible gift.

The world is better off because of you, Ashley—people look more deeply at themselves, look to Jesus more, and take steps to looking more like him and loving others like he would.

Happy birthday!  We love you!

Andrew and the kids