a lost tooth and something new found

My big girl Madeline lost her tooth this week.  This is a first in our household.  It's been wiggling for a few days now and all of us have been eagerly anticipating this together.  And her joy! It's just the sweetest, most genuine joy!  She is giggly and grins so big.  It just makes me love her all the more.

Since Madeline was born we've prayed for her to know Jesus.  She has such an intricate little heart and mind and getting to know her is such a blessing and challenge to me.  She has asked questions about Jesus, sin, Satan, grace.  We've read countless Bible stories with her and watched her curiosity grow, her understanding deepen, her imagination take off into the stories.  She is sensitive and emotional and dramatic and intense.  Beautiful.  Strong.  Passionate.

When she messes up, we call it sin.  We sit together and she processes with me.  Crying and wondering why she keeps messing up, telling me she doesn't know how to stop when she gets frustrated, falling into my arms overcome with remorse.  We speak grace and forgiveness and pray.  It is a beautiful battle that we are in with her.  Watching her first attempts to walk in faith.  

A few weeks ago Madeline sat through church with us.  We take communion weekly and she walked back with us.  She has done this before and we've never let her take communion but this time was different.  She asked if she could.  At first I said no, but I could tell she wanted to talk.  So we moved to the back and I told her that communion was something we did not just because we believe Jesus is real, but because we know we need Him to rescue us.  I asked her what she thought of all that.  She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said that's what she believes.  It was quiet and sweet.  I pushed a bit.  Tell me what you mean, I asked.  And she did.  Very shyly she told me that she knows she needs Jesus and she wants to follow Him and that is why she wants to take communion.  I had no words.  I asked her if we could pray together so we did.  Then I told her she should talk to Jesus as well, and she did, and she cried as she prayed.  And I had the privilege of taking her first communion with her.

It is a moment etched in my heart.

What does she understand?  What does this all mean?  I don't really know. But what I do know is this-in her heart and mind, in all she knows and understands, she wants to follow Jesus today.  She knows she needs Him.  So we rejoiced with her, hugged, and smiled.  When I put her to bed that night I asked her if she had thought any about what she had talked with Jesus about at church.  She said yes but didn't elaborate.  I sat in bed with her and we prayed and afterwards she told me that the reason she knew she really loved Jesus and wanted to follow Him was that every time we talked about it it would make her cry.  It was the sweetest moment with her.  Hearing her voice and heart spill out in joy and tears.  She is so much like me in how she processes so I know exactly what she means when she says that.  A few days later we bought her a new Bible, put her name on it, and read together.

I couldn't be more thankful to get to walk this road of faith with my sweet girl and pray for many, many more conversations and prayers that bring us closer to Jesus.