a lost tooth and something new found

My big girl Madeline lost her tooth this week.  This is a first in our household.  It's been wiggling for a few days now and all of us have been eagerly anticipating this together.  And her joy! It's just the sweetest, most genuine joy!  She is giggly and grins so big.  It just makes me love her all the more.

Since Madeline was born we've prayed for her to know Jesus.  She has such an intricate little heart and mind and getting to know her is such a blessing and challenge to me.  She has asked questions about Jesus, sin, Satan, grace.  We've read countless Bible stories with her and watched her curiosity grow, her understanding deepen, her imagination take off into the stories.  She is sensitive and emotional and dramatic and intense.  Beautiful.  Strong.  Passionate.

When she messes up, we call it sin.  We sit together and she processes with me.  Crying and wondering why she keeps messing up, telling me she doesn't know how to stop when she gets frustrated, falling into my arms overcome with remorse.  We speak grace and forgiveness and pray.  It is a beautiful battle that we are in with her.  Watching her first attempts to walk in faith.  

A few weeks ago Madeline sat through church with us.  We take communion weekly and she walked back with us.  She has done this before and we've never let her take communion but this time was different.  She asked if she could.  At first I said no, but I could tell she wanted to talk.  So we moved to the back and I told her that communion was something we did not just because we believe Jesus is real, but because we know we need Him to rescue us.  I asked her what she thought of all that.  She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said that's what she believes.  It was quiet and sweet.  I pushed a bit.  Tell me what you mean, I asked.  And she did.  Very shyly she told me that she knows she needs Jesus and she wants to follow Him and that is why she wants to take communion.  I had no words.  I asked her if we could pray together so we did.  Then I told her she should talk to Jesus as well, and she did, and she cried as she prayed.  And I had the privilege of taking her first communion with her.

It is a moment etched in my heart.

What does she understand?  What does this all mean?  I don't really know. But what I do know is this-in her heart and mind, in all she knows and understands, she wants to follow Jesus today.  She knows she needs Him.  So we rejoiced with her, hugged, and smiled.  When I put her to bed that night I asked her if she had thought any about what she had talked with Jesus about at church.  She said yes but didn't elaborate.  I sat in bed with her and we prayed and afterwards she told me that the reason she knew she really loved Jesus and wanted to follow Him was that every time we talked about it it would make her cry.  It was the sweetest moment with her.  Hearing her voice and heart spill out in joy and tears.  She is so much like me in how she processes so I know exactly what she means when she says that.  A few days later we bought her a new Bible, put her name on it, and read together.

I couldn't be more thankful to get to walk this road of faith with my sweet girl and pray for many, many more conversations and prayers that bring us closer to Jesus.

flower girl

Some of our dear friends asked Madeline to be a flower girl in their wedding and she was so happy!  She talked about it for months and was giddy when her dress came.  She practiced and planned and had so much fun the whole weekend.  She looked like such a beautiful big girl.

Thank you Sam & Tripp!!

Madeline's Graduation & the Homefront

While we have been in Ukraine the kiddos back home have had lots of very full days!  Our sweet Madeline graduated from pre-school last week.  We were very sad to miss but thankful for Gram who went, took flowers, pictures & videos, and loved on Madeline.  This year was the first time any of our kids have been away from me for school.  It was so sweet to watch her learn and grow all year and we are very proud of her.  

And here is what else has been going on while we've been away...

 spend the nights with the Schwo's

 park fun with Aunt Lauren

baseball games with the Halls watching Eli

Anna being Anna

 Snuggles with Shawn

 Water play at Mrs. Jenny Beth's house

 Candy Land with Mrs. Jenny Beth

swingin'

more swingin'

car rides with the Walker crew 

fun times with Nana 

 treats from Nana & more Anna being Anna

Boingo Bounce with the Schwos 

WE MISS THESE KIDS!

my oldest baby & sister pics

We kind of decided very last minute to bring Madeline with us.  It was a combination of reasons but the biggest for us was that she is very relational and emotional and we thought it would be a great time for her to form a sweet bond with Paulina.  We knew the travel, food, hotel stay, and such would be difficult but we thought we could all handle it together and that it would be worth it.  So we expedited her passport & bought her a ticket!  The day we told her she was so funny.  At first she didn't realize what we meant and then when it clicked that she was getting to go with us she was SO happy!  We only told her two days early but even then it was all she talked about.  About 1 hour after telling her she was coming she had her bag packed! 

Now I must spend some time being a proud mama because Madeline has gone above and beyond our expectations and hopes!  I wouldn't have necessarily called her our flexible child but this trip she has been incredible!  We have flown overseas, traveled through the night, slept in vans & trains, walked several miles a day, eaten strange meals, sat through long Russian conversations, and through it all she has seriously gone with the flow.  It has been a huge answered prayer! 

Even more than all that, watching her meet Paulina and love her has been some of the sweetest moments of my life.  She walked straight up to her and put her hands on her and talked with such gentleness that my heart almost burst from joy.  She tickles her, sings to her, dances around her, tells her fun things, rubs her face, arms, and legs, plays with her, and just loves getting to know her and be near her.  She loves for Paulina to sit in her lap and will just sit and snuggle her.  She wants to think of ways to teach her new things.  She prays for her.  She is such a loving sister to Paulina and we couldn't be more thankful for the way God has answered so many prayers and is building such a sweet relationship between Madeline & Paulina. 

One last added sweet story about Madeline (for now at least :)…there are 3 other kids in Paulina’s room and every day Madeline goes right up to each one of them and talks to them and plays with them.  She brings them toys, tosses a ball with one of the boys, tickles them, has gotten to know which toys they like best & what their personalities are like, and pays them such good attention.  It is so sweet to see her love for these kids.  Once I told her we could pray for these children to have families and she said, “I did this morning!” 

I will say it probably 1000 times but again, we are so thankful we brought her and for how God is shaping her, Paulina, & us through our time!

good days

What a whirlwind of a few days we have had here!  I can't even begin to go into all the details but let me just say God has worked some incredible miracles on behalf of Paulina to work out some seriously big roadblocks we ran into!  We are so deeply humbled and thankful to be walking with Jesus through all He has for us and for His goodness in bringing us to Paulina, and her to us.  Our time with her has been so incredibly joyful and sweet.  She is so wonderful and we love her more now than ever!  Because of the problems we had we are having a few week delay but are trusting Jesus and thanking Him it is not longer.  We should be bringing her home in June!  Here are a few pics of our time.  Watching Madeline with Paulina has been beautiful.  Moments I will cherish forever!

silly song

Madeline learned this silly song at pre-school & quickly taught it to Simeon.  They think it is hilarious & I think they are absolutely precious!

Madeline's 5th

Five years ago, almost four weeks before my due date, little Madeline made her way into our world.  She was 6 pounds 2 ounces and just precious.  There is nothing that can compare to or explain the first moments of being a mama.  The first holding, the first realizing she is yours, the first tears that fall all over you, her, and her daddy.  These five years have gone so slowly and so quickly...long, slow days but fast moving years.  I can't believe I have a five year.  Everyday is adventurous with Madeline.  She has such a big, tender heart.  She is a good giver.  Whenever it is anyone's birthday she spends hours wrapping up gifts from all over the house in all her blankets and ties bows on each.  Then she spends hours making crafts and cards and spelling out crazy long notes for them.  She is sensitive and kind.  She loves her brother and sisters well.  She plays with them and serves them and asks forgiveness from them when she wrongs them and forgives them when they wrong her.  She has a HUGE imagination and is incredibly creative.  She wanted to make a guitar the other day and patiently and creatively made on with very little help from me.  She started pre-school this year and is loving it.  She tells stories and makes new friends.  She prays for her teachers & friends on the way to school and thinks of ways to love well while she is there.  She is learning so much so fast.  She loves Jesus and is asking more and more about Him each day.  She memorizes verses better than most and loves to read Bible stories.  She has a beautiful smile and a heart that exceeds even that.  We love this little gal like crazy.  So blessed to be her mama and so thankful to be a part of her life.

Madeline really wanted to "ball" for her birthday party.  So we invited several little girl friends over and set up a room to get their hair done, nails done, and pick out a dress to go to the ball!  We played very girly music and they danced and twirled their little hearts out.  It was really cute to watch them all!  Their little faces just lit up as they got all dolled up.  It was a great insight into the ways our daughters desire to know they are significant and beautiful and a great challenge to pray and pursue them to the end that they find all their significance and beauty in Christ.  

trip to the dentist

We are super blessed to have a local dentist give all staff families of Andrew's job free dental work.  So, with a 4, 3, & 2 year old, we headed out to the dentist...be jealous.  But, actually, it really did go well.  All 3 got x-rays & cleanings and all 3 did great.  Anna was like a pro with x-rays considering she had done them several times already because of her skull fracture.  They all like champs relaxed in the dental chairs & got their teeth cleaned and then were sent home with fun goodie bags full of cute little tooth oriented things.  Very proud of them all!  And since then Anna has been OBSESSED with brushing her teeth.  

he wasn't a super fan of the x-rays but was still very cute sitting there.  blurry but i had to keep it.  madeline went first and did so good. she looks so big!

oh.my.goodness.